An absent leader is exactly what it sounds like: Someone who is rarely or never available. Even if they’re sitting right across from you, they’re not present in the moment but thinking about what’s next. This may sound familiar if you’re a leader yourself. You may not check in with your team as often as you’d like — not because you don’t care but because you just don’t have the bandwidth. 

Leadership expert Ben Brearley says once absent leadership becomes normal, it becomes part of the culture and more difficult to change. So, what can you do before it gets to that point? Brearley has put together 4 strategies to avoid the absent leadership trap. We share his ideas in this issue of PromoPro Daily.

  1. Make and keep your commitments. According to Brearley, not being around to support your team is one of the biggest issues with absent leadership. Schedule 1:1 catch-ups with each team member and make formal meetings better with an agenda and defined outcomes. Another idea? Block off time on your calendar when you’re fully available to your team.

  2. Become more observant. It’s easy to fall into the trap of absent leadership if you’re not cognizant of your feelings and behaviors. Consider times you’ve said “yes” to something when you felt like declining. Or consider instances where you’ve canceled or rescheduled meetings. Brearley likes to spend time doing some self-reflection. Once you know your own patterns, you can develop strategies to prevent checking out as a leader.

  3. Reconsider what it means to be helpful. If you take on so much work that you burn yourself out, you won’t be in a good place to help anyone. Brearley understands that it feels good to help others but think about what helping really entails. You have a responsibility to your team and yourself, so don’t take on more than you can handle.

  4. Build your pushing-back muscle. This doesn’t always mean saying “no,” Brearley says. It could mean negotiating your workload by saying, “I’m working on A, B and C. Which one should I delay to add in D?” It might also be suggesting an alternative by saying, “Could we do it this way instead?” Once you push back, Brearley says you become someone who isn’t afraid to push back — and people learn that about you.

Absent leadership doesn’t mean you’re not cut out for the job. Rather, it’s often a signal that the demands on you have outpaced your capacity. Try making some of the small changes above, like booking time for regular 1:1 meetings or doing some self-reflection, to show up more meaningfully for your team. 

Compiled by Audrey Sellers
Source: Ben Brearley, MBA is a leadership coach and manager who runs Thoughtful Leader.