It sounds simple enough to listen to someone. However, listening isn’t the same as truly hearing them. When you practice active listening, you’re tuning in to what the other person is saying — not thinking about what you’ll say next. You stay fully locked into the conversation by asking questions and ensuring you understand before responding.
InPower Coaching’s Dana Theus says refining your active listening skills is the ultimate communication hack. She says when you make someone feel truly heard, you give them a powerful sense of respect that inspires them to trust you. Different from passive listening, active listening is a structured technique that requires your full engagement. We share her thoughts on the 3 pillars of active listening in this issue of PromoPro Daily.
Pillar No. 1: Listen without judgment. The first step involves listening with curiosity, Theus says. Quiet your mind. Hold your judgment. Consciously set aside your internal distractions, opinions, counterarguments and solutions. She says the goal is to absorb what the other person is saying, both verbally and non-verbally. Pay attention to facial expressions, observe body language and notice nonverbal cues. Ask clarifying questions when necessary.
Pillar No. 2: Verify your understanding. When the other person is done speaking, reflect their message back to them in your own words. Theus recommends saying, “So, what I’m hearing is…” or “It sounds like you’re feeling…” Putting their ideas into your own words helps you take on the speaker’s perspective by processing what you heard. She says this ensures you understand the speaker’s intent and can help you validate the speaker’s feelings (whether you share them or not).
Pillar No. 3: Respond with your perspective. Only after the other person confirms that you have understood them correctly should you share your own thoughts, according to Theus. You may find that your initial impression changed and you might need a moment to reconsider your response. Consider saying something like, “Thank you for sharing that. I need some time to think about it.” When you respond, Theus says the other person is far more likely to listen openly to you because you have already offered them that same courtesy.
Active listening can totally transform how you communicate. Focus on listening with curiosity, making sure you understand their message and then sharing your take on the topic. It’s a skill that can help you build better trust and better relationships.
Compiled by Audrey Sellers
Source: Dana Theus is the president and CEO of InPower Coaching.
