Most of us know what toxic positivity looks like at work. We may engage in it ourselves, thinking we’re encouraging a co-worker by saying “look on the bright side” or “everything happens for a reason.” We mean well, but sometimes this kind of positivity isn’t helpful. In fact, it can create distance when what people need most is understanding.
In a post for the Atlassian blog, writer Shaina Rozen says extreme optimism can hurt more than it helps. It’s better, she says, to create true resilience. You can do this by facing hard stuff head-on and working through it. This means accepting all feelings (not just the good ones), validating experiences and sympathizing before solving. If you’re dealing with toxic positivity within your team, read on. In this issue of PromoPro Daily, we feature Rozen’s tips on what to do.
Accept all feelings, not just the positive ones. There are no right, wrong, good or bad feelings. We’re all human, and emotions are part of the human experience. When we rush toward positivity, Rozen says we may bulldoze over real and sometimes painful experiences. Be empathetic and gentle when you or someone around you is struggling.
Validate the experience. Rozen points out research from psychologist Marsha Linehan about the importance of validation. This means communicating to someone that their responses make sense and are understandable within their current life context or situation. While you may want to encourage someone to cheer up or help them see a silver lining, validation heals and strengthens people. Even if you don’t agree with someone, she says validating their feelings simply lets them know it’s OK to feel that way — not that you think they’re right.
Label the emotions. This helps you better understand and manage them. By naming them out loud, you’re essentially taking responsibility for them. This makes it less likely that they will spill out at the expense of others over the course of the day. For example, Rozen paints a picture of employees chatting about annual reviews and rumors of potential layoffs. One co-worker who was hoping for a promotion didn’t get it and he’s disappointed. Instead of telling him to be grateful he still has a job, his co-workers could say something like, “I’m so sorry. I know how hard you’ve been working. That must be really disappointing.”
Healthy teams aren’t overly positive. They take time to listen and acknowledge the hard moments in people’s lives. Giving people space to share their feelings and allowing them to process challenges is often what restores genuine optimism in the first place.
Compiled by Audrey Sellers
Source: Shaina Rozen contributes to the Atlassian blog. She is a writer and content strategist who helps businesses translate complex topics into clear communication their audiences understand.
