People who are self-critical tend to evaluate themselves especially harshly. In the workplace, they may feel like they could have made more calls, gotten the deal done just a little bit sooner or reached their goal just a little bit faster. However, there’s a fine line between ambition and healthy striving and self-defeating perfectionism. Sometimes, when people experience a setback or fail at something, they place an unreasonable amount of blame on themselves.
If you have employees on your team who exhibit overly self-critical behavior, writer Jennifer V. Miller says you can encourage them to do their best without piling on the stress they may already feel to perform or achieve. We discuss her thoughts for leading self-critical employees in this issue of Promotional Consultant Today.
Recognize the inner critic. Everyone has an inner critic. Some of these critics are just louder than others. It’s important to validate with employees that this critic shows up for all of us, Miller says. What matters is how we handle the voice of doubt. We can either give into it or bounce back after a rejection or setback.
Learn their stories. People make sense of the world by carrying on an inner monologue about their observations, experiences and interactions, Miller says. While these “tales” may seem like the absolute truth, there are actually many different narratives. She says great leaders help people see alternate stories that can guide them out of discouragement and into hope.
Embrace the “champion” and “editor” voices. Miller says the “champion” voice is our inner cheerleader and may say things like “I’ve got this!” or “I’ve handled challenges in the past and I can do it again.” The “editor” voice looks past unhelpful statements like “there goes my chance” or “I really messed this deal up.” Instead, employees who embrace the “editor” voice use more realistic statements like, “I messed up, but I know what it takes to get back on track” or “Am I really the dumbest person in the world? No. I just made a mistake.”
Help them take a step back. One of the best ways to do this is to encourage the self-critical employee to consider how they would respond to a friend in a similar situation. Miller says this exercise helps people gain distance from their circumstances and helps mitigate the tendency to blow things out of proportion. Keep in mind that encouraging employees to have self-compassion isn’t letting them off the hook for their mistake, but rather encouraging a healthy mindset to rebound from setbacks.
It can be challenging leading someone who feels like they can’t do anything right or that they could have done better. Instead of saying “don’t be so hard on yourself,” consider the points above to help these employees see things from a different perspective.
Compiled by Audrey Sellers
Source: Jennifer V. Miller is a writer, idea editor and messaging muse to people on a mission to maximize leadership potential.
