How do you feel after you experience a setback or disappointment? Maybe you lost a big customer, or you had a bad sales quarter. Do you get frustrated and angry at yourself or do you give yourself some grace? There’s power in giving yourself the same compassionate support and understanding that you would give a good friend.

Wayne Turmel, co-founder for the Remote Learning Institute, points out that you probably wouldn’t berate an employee for being late on a deadline or swear at someone for forgetting a meeting. You also shouldn’t speak to yourself that way.

In this issue of Promotional Consultant Today, we share Turmel’s thoughts on how you can better manage how you speak to yourself.

Stay mindful with your words. If you ever catch yourself saying things like “I can’t” or “That’s just not me,” try intentionally replacing these words with, “I haven’t been able to yet,” or “I’m learning how to.” Turmel says when you watch your words, you offer the possibility of improvement and take a lot of unnecessary pressure off yourself.

Talk to yourself how you would coach an employee. Even if you bungle an important deal or make an embarrassing mistake in a customer meeting, don’t allow yourself to get caught up in negative self-talk. Instead, Turmel recommends speaking to yourself as though you were counseling someone on your team who made the mistake. This breaks the cycle of negativity and allows you to focus on changing the outcome next time.

Remember that things probably aren’t so bad. Unlike doctors in surgery, working in sales isn’t a matter of life and death. While a problem or consequence might seem huge, the situation likely is not as dire as you think.

Talk to a colleague or friend. Instead of beating yourself up about something that went wrong, reach out to a trusted colleague or friend. Explain the situation and ask how they would encourage you through the problem or misstep. Chances are, they still hold you in high regard and believe in your capability.

Most everyone can benefit from a little more self-compassion. The next time things do not go as you had hoped, remember to be a little gentler on yourself. When you show the same kindness to yourself that you would to others, you give yourself a great gift: compassion.

Compiled by Audrey Sellers

Source: Wayne Turmel is the co-founder and product line manager for the Remote Leadership Institute. Turmel has written several books that demystify communicating through technology, including Meet Like You Mean It – a Leader’s Guide to Painless & Productive Virtual Meetings.