Have you ever heard of the “third ear” concept? Essentially, it’s the practice of listening for deeper layers of meaning so you can hear what is not being said outright. Psychoanalyst Theodore Reik introduced this deep listening ability as listening with a “third ear.”
Working in sales requires strong listening skills, but Bruna Martinuzzi, a world-renowned communications expert, says anyone can benefit from developing this ability. How can you activate “third ear” listening? We share Martinuzzi’s practical pointers in this issue of PromoPro Daily.
Use psychologist-backed techniques. Psychologists know that people aren’t always straightforward, so they listen for how people express themselves. This can include observing body language and the phrases people use. For example, Martinuzzi says when someone states, “It has been challenging,” they might really mean, “I’m angry because project goals keep changing.” To practice third-ear listening, learn to recognize indirect communication.
Don’t give advice – just listen. Often, that’s all people really need. They don’t necessarily need a solution right away, they just want to be heard. Martinuzzi says if you jump in with unsolicited advice, it can feel like showing up at someone’s house uninvited. It can also disrupt the listening process, she says, because the focus shifts from trying to understand the speaker to asserting your own perspective.
Show that you’re ready to listen. Ask yourself: Do your colleagues and employees know that your door is always wide open? Even if you announce an open-door policy, your demeanor may say otherwise. Martinuzzi says it’s also important to address any barriers to communication. You might host training sessions on effective communications or provide platforms where team members feel safe sharing. These actions can activate listening with your “third ear.”
Prioritize active listening. Remember that tuning your “third ear” is more than just hearing words: It’s deeply understanding and valuing what others are saying. Martinuzzi says this practice can be honed by prioritizing it in professional development. Try working with a business coach or enrolling in a strategic listening class.
Challenge assumptions. Instead of jumping to conclusions when listening to someone, try to remain present and listen attentively. Resist the urge to fill gaps with your own interpretations, Martinuzzi says. Instead, ask yourself, “Am I making up my own version of what I’ve heard, or am I really listening?”
Practice humility. It’s OK to be wrong. You don’t need all the answers, and others may have insights you hadn’t considered. When you adopt a humbler approach, Martinuzzi says you become better equipped to listen with your “third ear.”
Many people have trouble listening with two ears, let alone three. If you feel like you usually rush to fill the silence or offer advice, try embracing the “third ear” concept. It can help you have more meaningful conversations and connect in genuine ways with the people around you.
Compiled by Audrey Sellers
Source: Bruna Martinuzzi is the founder and president of Clarion Enterprises Ltd. She specializes in leadership, emotional intelligence and presentation skills.